Monday, May 21, 2012

What if Healing comes through Tears

Many of you will recognize this post title from the song by Laura Story called Blessings.  The reason that I titled this blog this way is Joel and I have experienced blessings through tears.  My last post I was able to share with you how our baby boy had club foot and how God has been using it in my life to change who I am and How I perceive His blessings.

I must admit that not knowing what God had in store for us and this little boy caused me to cry out with tears to God to show me that He is an ever present help in time of need.  God has taught me that He is a God full of Love and Truth and one of His greatest attributes is Healer.

When I think about miracles I think about all of the miracles in the New Testament and how Jesus raised people from the dead and He makes the lame to walk again or the blind to see.  When I think of miracles today I don't really think I see them as much.  God is however a God of miracles just by breathing life into my body and the miracle of carrying a baby in my womb and how God is knitting together our baby boy for His glory.

This past Friday Joel and I went to have my second high risk ultrasound done to make sure that the baby is continuing to grow and to check on his foot one more time so as to further look into what we would need to do once he is born.  As the technician was going through the different measurements and looking at his head and the rest of his body she looked at us with a questionable look on her face and asked "What foot was clubbed again?"  We both answered her and said his right foot. She said "Hmmm, everything looks normal to me I am going to go get the doctor to double check."  The doctor came in and asked us if we had been told about his club foot and to which we answered yes, she said ok lets take a look around.

When she found his feet she looked at the ultrasound machine and looked at the technician and said do you see those toes they are pointed straight at us.  The question in my mind was well it was probably his left foot the one that isn't clubbed.  Then she said I need to really look at this as she turned on the 3d image of his feet. She turned and looked at us and said I am pretty sure that his foot is straight he doesn't have club foot.  It was then at that moment I realized that God had healed our little boy.  We have proof from other ultrasounds showing us his club foot and it was very clear to us that God worked a miracle in our little boy's life already and he isn't even born yet.  She looked at us and said congratulations on a perfectly healthy little boy.  I cleaned myself up walked out of the room with Joel and was in awe of what God had done for our little boy and for us.

Deuteronomy 10:21 says He is your praise. He is your God, who has done for you these great and terrifying things that your eyes have seen." I can honestly say I have seen God in this and He deserves all the praise because we know that God has take care of our little boy but not just our little boy but us.  So praise be to God our Healer and blessings do come through tears.  So as Jesus made the lamb to walk He has made our son able to walk and hopefully proclaim one day that his God healed him.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

In Trials

Sometimes I wonder why it takes trials for me to be dependent on God's grace and mercy in my life.  I have been meditating on 2 Cor 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  This verse was spurred on by the fact that we just recently learned that our unborn baby boy has a small deformity.  I got a call on a Wednesday night at 7 from my OB doctor telling me that she has just received the ultrasound pictures of our anatomy scan of the baby.  She said she was requesting a follow up ultrasound, because she was pretty sure there was something wrong with his right leg.  So as I started to panic I said can you tell me something more specific and she said not really it could just be the angle of the ultrasound picture.  I had an appointment the next day for my regular 4 week checkup, she said just go ahead and make the appointment for the ultrasound then.  I went in the next morning only to have the doctor call me back into his office instead of the regular exam room where they listen to the heartbeat.  He proceeded to show me the pictures of little boy's foot and he said there are several things that could be wrong with his leg but not limited to that he may have a chromosome disorder that would take his life once he was born.  So of course now in sheer panic i try to keep my composure and he said I am making you an appointment today to have an ultrasound done with a high risk doctor.  I went out with him to the counter and the receptionist began to make the appointments for me to see the high risk doctor, a genetics counselor, and have a high risk ultrasound taken of him.  It turned out that they couldn't get me in until the following Monday.  So as I drove back to get my kiddos from my good friends house, I just started to feel incredibly alone and had no idea what to think or do.  So I started praying that God would work a miracle in this baby and just show me that I wasn't alone in this.  So as I went through the rest of Thursday and the weekend I just kept trying to keep myself busy trying not to think about all the stuff that could be wrong with the baby, Still feeling as if I had to walk this road by myself.  Monday morning came and Joel and I both prayed God please help us to be willing to except whatever He had for us and whatever we were about to face and learn about our baby.  I then all of the sudden didn't feel alone anymore, I felt God saying Hey, I got this and this is for your good and my Glory.  From the time we walked into the doctors office until the time we left we both felt so comfortable and knew that God had put these specific people in our lives for his good.  We learned that yes indeed the baby's foot is turned in but it is very moderately turned in and from what they could see on the ultrasound no other problems were causing this so no down syndrome or no Trysonomy 13, 14.  So the gave it a term which is club foot and they said here is the plan here is what you need to do and the baby will most likely wear a cast on his foot/leg until the doctors feel like it is back to where it should be and then he will wear a brace at night until he is 2 or 3 while going through some physical therapy.  So back to the verse showing that the surpassing greatness belongs to the Lord and not to me.  We are still praying that God would heal his foot but we know that God's got this and we don't have to fear the unknown because the power belongs to God and definitely not to me. I also realized that having a turned in foot is the least of baby boy's problem.  His biggest problem is they need to know our Saviour so outside of praying for a miracle I am also praying that God would save him and his sister and brother.  As I explained this all to Lydia she said, Mommy its ok if he can't walk we will just carry him.  I realized at that very moment that God is carrying little baby as well as his mommy, daddy, sister, and brother.