Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Blessings upon Blessings

I know that for most of you, you probably already know that for 20 months now Joel and I have been trying to have another baby. After the first I would say 11 months I would get very and I mean very discouraged because I would find out that I wasn't pregnant. I cried I sometimes even screamed I questioned why God wouldn't give us another baby. I wanted so desperately to have another baby. It seemed like to me every day someone else was announcing they were pregnant. I would fall under the weight of once again I wasn't pregnant. Finally, God called into action a very good friend of mine who showed me very lovingly that I was so caught up in wanting a baby that I was forgetting to see God in it. She also encouraged me to start praying that God would make his desires my desires, Though difficult in the beginning to pray that and mean it. Another one of my good friends encouraged me by saying maybe this is just your time to love on other peoples kiddos. So after listening and praying I felt God starting to change my desire. It was amazing. I began to rejoice over the birth of many of my friends babies. It was nice to be asked to babysit for them and love on their kiddos. It was still very difficult at times not to think about the fact that I wasn't pregnant but I would again pray that God would make His desires my desires. Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. This is the verse that I would cling to. I prayed that my desire would be only to serve my Creator and not my desires. God showed me that I have 2 amazing kids. They were my ministry right now. I finally came to terms with the fact that maybe 2 kids was all God wanted us to have. Then on December 11, after experiencing some really weird things happening with my body, Joel and I decided that I should take a pregnancy test and sure enough I saw very clearly the plus sign for pregnant. I laughed I cried I couldn't help but thank God for changing my desires so that I would learn to rely on Him and not myself. It was the most amazing thing that I could have gone through. It was very hard and very emotional but I a thankful that our God reigns over all and He deserves the Praise.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the change of perspective and the new life.

Sonya said...

It's wonderful when He blesses us when we least "expect" it. So excited for you guys!!

Sonya said...

....isn't His timing perfect??!!